I know I haven't posted in some time. SO much has happened this past summer. Going to apologize now, as this post is going to be long. It is also tough to write out, so please bare with me.
June 19, 2018. Just your normal hot, summer Tuesday. Tyler had a doctor appointment, so we had to be up early. Chase wanted to stay home, which I look back now and think that was a blessing in disguise. I hugged Chase, told him I love him and that we would be back soon. Tyler and I left.......and things all changed. We were about a minute away from the house. Four lanes of traffic. I checked my side and it was clear. I checked Tyler's side, specifically telling him to move his big hair so I could see. It was clear. I checked my side again before pulling out. A car was barely coming over the hill, which was at least 4-5 car lengths and should have been plenty of time for me to get across the lanes, so I pulled out. Next thing I know I hear Tyler yell "MOM!" and I looked out my window to see the vehicle......right at us and no where for me to go. (and yet she could have easily got in the other lane and avoided things but was just going way too fast.)
I remember the impact. The feeling of being pushed to the right. I don't remember much sound. Next thing I know I am opening my eyes and seeing blood running down my arm. And then realizing i'm upside down. And that my seat belt is SO tight against my chest and hurting SO bad. I tried to speak, and yet no words or sound would come out. I could hear Tyler. Yelling "Mom! Mom! Please, help my mom! I can't lose my mom! Please!" I finally found my voice. I yelled to help me, please at least cut my seat belt so I could catch my breath. I remember constantly asking how Tyler was, and where he was. I was reassured over and over that he was ok, and that the EMTs were checking him out to make sure he was ok. I asked to be cut out of the seat belt, but was told they couldn't as I was upside down and they didn't know what my injuries were. I was also told I needed to be cut out. I remember a woman, saying she was a nurse and would stay by my side. I asked her if I could hold her thumb. (I told her that was silly, but it made me feel safe for some reason) She got a glove and gave me her thumb. I held on tight. I don't remember much else. I know I was cut out. I know I was put in an ambulance to be moved a few feet so I could get to Life Star so I could be flown to the hospital. I don't remember getting off the helicopter or being in the ER. I vaguely remember Jeff by my side. And constantly asking about Tyler. Tests and x-rays were done. The results? A broken pelvis, fractured ribs, a nick on my kidney and something with the bone in my neck. Later I was in surgery to repair the pelvis. It was also discovered I got a blood clot in my left leg. The very next day I had surgery that would blast the blood clot. So two surgeries back to back. I was in ICU for over a week. During that time I was still hurting in my left leg. (as well as my hips, of course) They finally got my pain medicine right and I was sent to an actual room.
In my room was still having pain and issues with my left leg. Due to my broken pelvis, my right leg was toe touch only, basically meaning no pressure put on it at all.The nurses and physical therapists tried to get me to stand on my "good" left leg. The pain was so intense, I just couldn't do it. They gave me something that would help me straighten it out, and I couldn't take the pain. At times I felt they just felt I was just being a wimp and didn't want to do any exercises or get out of bed. I do know on a few occasions I was put in a chair in the room and left there. I finally would get a nurse to help me into bed. The doctors kept checking my left foot and leg and not knowing why it was still so painful, and why it looked like this:
Pulse was checked several times a day with a special doppler. It just kept getting harder and harder to find. And more painful. Finally, the doctor made a decision: amputation. Apparently when they blasted the clots I had, they only ended up getting into extremely small areas and blood vessels. Basically, my leg was dying. I was just numb. After everything I had already been through, now this. But if something wasn't done, the clots could spread. After thinking about it and talking about it with my boyfriend, I decided to go forward with the amputation. On July 13, 2018, a Friday the 13th mind you, they amputated my leg. After the surgery, I couldn't look at where my left leg used to be. The nurses would come and check on it and change the bandages. I would turn my head and close my eyes. The pain that I went through with that leg was gone, replaced with phantom pains. Oh the irony. I would cry when no one was around.
I had SUCH an amazing support system. Friends praying for me. Family actually by my side. My sisters, their husbands and my father were here. They stepped up and helped so much. I don't know how we would have made it without their help, love and support. I can't even begin to thank them enough. And Jeff. Oh Jeff. He stepped up and took such amazing care of the boys. He was up at the hospital as often as he could be there, which was difficult as I had totalled our van. My family and the nurses all said what an amazing job he was doing with everything he had to handle. As soon as amputation was mentioned, he came home and built a ramp for me that very day. I am so beyond Blessed.
The nurses were SO sweet and caring! One of the nurses that made me feel like I was just trying to be lazy when I told them how badly my leg hurt, came in and was just about in tears when she saw they amputated. She kept apologizing for pushing me so hard and not believing me when I told her how badly I hurt. She kept hugging me every time she saw me. They were so patient and understand, as I wasn't an easy patient. I ended up going through some psychotic episodes. I hallucinated, at times couldn't remember where I was. It was awful. To this day I still hardly remember any of what happened. People tell me things that I said or did and it is tough not remembering.
It's been close to two years now since the accident. I still have horrible PTSD, plus on top of that my so called "good foot" has horrible neuropathy that I take pains meds for daily. And as of the end of January, I found out I need surgery on my stump for a neuoroma that has formed. So no prosthetic until the surgery. And with all the corona virus issues going on, I can't do a thing until that all passes.
So, that's about all thats happened the past 1.5 years. Once the corona virus is finally "under control", I will get the surgery needed so I can finally be up and walking again. I also want to get in to therapy for all that is happened and help with the PTSD. I know Tyler and I were saved for a reason. We both had guardian angels looking over us. One thing all of this taught me was to not ever take anything for granted. Stop and enjoy the little things in life. And always remember God has got you!!
Will add more photos soon........
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