Long overdue post

I know I haven't posted in some time. SO much has happened this past summer. Going to apologize now, as this post is going to be long. It is also tough to write out, so please bare with me.

June 19, 2018. Just your normal hot, summer Tuesday. Tyler had a doctor appointment, so we had to be up early. Chase wanted to stay home, which I look back now and think that was a blessing in disguise. I hugged Chase, told him I love him and that we would be back soon. Tyler and I left.......and things all changed. We were about a minute away from the house. Four lanes of traffic. I checked my side and it was clear. I checked Tyler's side, specifically telling him to move his big hair so I could see. It was clear. I checked my side again before pulling out.  A car was barely coming over the hill, which was at least 4-5 car lengths and should have been plenty of time for me to get across the lanes, so I pulled out. Next thing I know I hear Tyler yell "MOM!" and I looked out my window to see the vehicle......right at us and no where for me to go. (and yet she could have easily got in the other lane and avoided things but was just going way too fast.)

I remember the impact. The feeling of being pushed to the right. I don't remember much sound. Next thing I know I am opening my eyes and seeing blood running down my arm. And then realizing i'm upside down. And that my seat belt is SO tight against my chest and hurting SO bad. I tried to speak, and yet no words or sound would come out. I could hear Tyler. Yelling "Mom! Mom! Please, help my mom! I can't lose my mom! Please!" I finally found my voice. I yelled to help me, please at least cut my seat belt so I could catch my breath. I remember constantly asking how Tyler was, and where he was. I was reassured over and over that he was ok, and that the EMTs were checking him out to make sure he was ok. I asked to be cut out of the seat belt, but was told they couldn't as I was upside down and they didn't know what my injuries were. I was also told I needed to be cut out. I remember a woman, saying she was a nurse and would stay by my side. I asked her if I could hold her thumb. (I told her that was silly, but it made me feel safe for some reason) She got a glove and gave me her thumb. I held on tight. I don't remember much else. I know I was cut out. I know I was put in an ambulance to be moved a few feet so I could get to Life Star so I could be flown to the hospital. I don't remember getting off the helicopter or being in the ER. I vaguely remember Jeff by my side. And constantly asking about Tyler. Tests and x-rays were done. The results? A broken pelvis, fractured ribs, a nick on my kidney and something with the bone in my neck. Later I was in surgery to repair the pelvis. It was also discovered I got a blood clot in my left leg. The very next day I had surgery that would blast the blood clot. So two surgeries back to back. I was in ICU for over a week. During that time I was still hurting in my left leg. (as well as my hips, of course) They finally got my pain medicine right and I was sent to an actual room.

In my room was still having pain and issues with my left leg. Due to my broken pelvis, my right leg was toe touch only, basically meaning no pressure put on it at all.The nurses and physical therapists tried to get me to stand on my "good" left leg. The pain was so intense, I just couldn't do it. They gave me something that would help me straighten it out, and I couldn't take the pain. At times I felt they just felt I was just being a wimp and didn't want to do any exercises or get out of bed. I do know on a few occasions I was put in a chair in the room and left there. I finally would get a nurse to help me into bed. The doctors kept checking my left foot and leg and not knowing why it was still so painful, and why it looked like this:

Pulse was checked several times a day with a special doppler. It just kept getting harder and harder to find. And more painful. Finally, the doctor made a decision: amputation. Apparently when they blasted the clots I had, they only ended up getting into extremely small areas and blood vessels. Basically, my leg was dying. I was just numb. After everything I had already been through, now this. But if something wasn't done, the clots could spread. After thinking about it and talking about it with my boyfriend, I decided to go forward with the amputation. On July 13, 2018, a Friday the 13th mind you, they amputated my leg. After the surgery, I couldn't look at where my left leg used to be. The nurses would come and check on it and change the bandages. I would turn my head and close my eyes. The pain that I went through with that leg was gone, replaced with phantom pains. Oh the irony. I would cry when no one was around.

 I had SUCH an amazing support system. Friends praying for me. Family actually by my side. My sisters, their husbands and my father were here. They stepped up and helped so much. I don't know how we would have made it without their help, love and support. I can't even begin to thank them enough. And Jeff. Oh Jeff. He stepped up and took such amazing care of the boys. He was up at the hospital as often as he could be there, which was difficult as I had totalled our van. My family and the nurses all said what an amazing job he was doing with everything he had to handle. As soon as amputation was mentioned, he came home and built a ramp for me that very day. I am so beyond Blessed.

The nurses were SO sweet and caring! One of the nurses that made me feel like I was just trying to be lazy when I told them how badly my leg hurt, came in and was just about in tears when she saw they amputated. She kept apologizing for pushing me so hard and not believing me when I told her how badly I hurt. She kept hugging me every time she saw me. They were so patient and understand, as I wasn't an easy patient. I ended up going through some psychotic episodes. I hallucinated, at times couldn't remember where I was. It was awful. To this day I still hardly remember any of what happened. People tell me things that I said or did and it is tough not remembering.

It's been close to two years now since the accident. I still have horrible PTSD, plus on top of that my so called "good foot" has horrible neuropathy that I take pains meds for daily. And as of the end of January, I found out I need surgery on my stump for a neuoroma that has formed. So no prosthetic until the surgery. And with all the corona virus issues going on, I can't do a thing until that all passes.

So, that's about all thats happened the past 1.5 years. Once the corona virus is finally "under control", I will get the surgery needed so I can finally be up and walking again. I also want to get in to therapy for all that is happened and help with the PTSD. I know Tyler and I were saved for a reason. We both had guardian angels looking over us. One thing all of this taught me was to not ever take anything for granted. Stop and enjoy the little things in life. And always remember God has got you!!


Will add more photos soon........

Blog revival!!

Yikes! I cant believe its been almost a year to the day since I've posted anything!! I;m so bad with keeping this up. I don't even know if people still follow this blog anymore!!! I'm hoping to get it up and running, and keep it running, again.

I'll do a super quick update. The boys are doing well! Tyler is having some mental health "issues", but we are taking things one day at a time. He is now 14 years old and taller than me! (well, most people are anyway LOL) He is doing FANTASTIC in school, and is in fact set to graduate from the 8th grade next Tuesday. I will of course take tons of pics. He's really excited about going to high school in August! They have a separate school just for 9th grade and I really like that. He is an amazing writer and hopes to be a famous author some day. I have no doubt he will achieve that goal. Words can not even begin to describe how very proud of him.

Chase is doing amazing in school as well!! He will be turning 9 in just a few weeks and will be going in to 4th grade in August. I know he will miss Tyler since Ty is going to high school. They have been in the same school since Chase started and Ty is very protective of Chase and looks out for him. They will at least still ride the bus together, as Ty will be picked up at RSS to go to the high school. I am so very proud of both boys, and just don't know how I was so Blessed to be their mama! I know in my heart both boys will do GREAT things in their lives.

Here are their Spring photos!!

Yikes, a new year!!

I am so bad at keeping up with this blog.We have been without a computer for some time now, and its SO tough updating my blog on my phone. Tyler got a laptop for his 13th birthday and I can now get to updating!!!

Yes, I said it. Tyler is 13. An official teenager!!! I don't know how that happened, I must have blinked or something.He is growing into such an amazing young man. SO handsome and smart!! And of course he is taller than me. We are so very proud of him and I know Zane is VERY proud as well!!

Chase is doing great as well!! He is doing AMAZING in school, as is Tyler. They are both such smart lil' boogers!  Both boys now have glasses. They are worried about Chases left eye, as there is a spot that could possibly be glaucoma. Also, his right eye pulls to the right so the glasses he has are supposed to help that. I felt so bad i waited so long to have his eyes checked, especially because they are so bad. He looks so cute in his glasses, though. I'll post pictures once I get back into my photobucket account. I hadn't signed in in forever, like here, and I can't get logged in. So frustrating!!

We did expand our family. We got a cat!! Her name is Anaise. She a total rotten b**ch, so she fits right in!! As I said, i'll post pics when I can. May just have to suck it up and find another place to store photos for the blog.

I guess thats all for now. Housework is calling!! Hope everyone is doing well! Have  blessed day!!!

Holy guacomole!

I can NOT believe it's been almost 3 years since I've posted!! It's not easy messing with a blog on my cellphone so I guess that's why I stopped?? Wow! Hopefully now that we have a computer again I'll be able to post more. Although the boys tend to hog the laptop any chance they get! lol Hope everyone is doing well! Sure have missed getting things out this way. Need to work hard to keep this blog up!!!! 

Ressurecting this blog!

Woah, has it really been since February that I posted?!? Yikes!! Soooo much has happened! Time for some updates....

- I think the biggest update is....WE MOVED!!! We are finally away from that nasty house and in a much nicer home! Getting moved was a bitch, thats for sure...but we made it! Here is a pic of the house:

Home sweet home!

It is everything we could ever want and more!The boys each have their own rooms (but they are sharing a room right now...thank goodness for bunk beds!) and they have a huge yard to play in!! Tyler did have to switch schools, but the new school is wonderful. It's so nice to feel safe and not have to worry about neighbors anymore.....in fact, our neighbors are SO sweet!!! We have wanted something like this for so long......over 9 years! We are so very blessed!!!

- Tyler is doing amazing! As I said, he did have to switch schools, but he loves this new school! It goes all the way up to the 8th grade, which he said  he was excited about since he will be in the same school with Chase for longer! He has adjusted well to the new home and school. He still has some moments where he will talk about Zane and get sad, but for the most part he is handling things well. He goes back to school next week, and will be going into the 4th grade!! So very proud of him!!!
- Chase is also doing great!! He turned 4 in June....so hard to believe my baby is 4 years old. And even harder to believe that he will start kindergarten next school year!!! He is such a smart little stinker.....and he is always doing something to make me laugh. He's also gotten into the not so nice stage of being a toddler/little guy. He fights SO much with Tyler, and for no reason! He will haul off and smack Ty upside the head or hit his leg or arm, and has even bitten him a few times. *sigh* We keep correcting him, and hopefully this will all fade over time.....plus i'm sure Ty going back to school will help a little. Being stuck with each other every single day can get to you!!

- Jinx is, well....Jinx!!! He is 8 months old now, and over 87 lbs!! He is doing well with learning new commands, but the biting/mouthing thing is still a pain in the butt. He still has alot of growing and learning to do, but we all love him SO much!!!!

- Ok, so an update on me. I am seeing someone. I'm sure that will not set well with ALOT of people, but such is life. Yes, I know Zane has only been gone 6 months. I believe, with all my heart and soul, that God and Zane brought this man to us. He is beyond a blessing to us!! He came into our lives and for the first time in a VERY long time, the boys and I are happy. He is amazing with both of the boys. He loves spending time with us and does everything he can to show how much he loves us and wants to be apart of our family. And his family is just as amazing as he is!! They have all accepted the boys and I as if we were always apart of their family.

So that is it, I am in a relationship. Yes, it is serious. In fact, we have discussed marriage and I feel some day it could very well happen. I know that I am with Jeff because I want to be and I love him, not because I am lonely or scared to be alone. If that were the case, I would have found someone lot sooner and just settled and been miserable. Do I still think about Zane? Of course!! Not a day goes by that I don't think of him. Every time I look at Ty or Chase I see Zane.  He is always with me, and will forever be in my heart. But he would want me to move on, and I KNOW he would want us to be happy......and we ARE!!!!!

Too long

Wow, i'm SO sorry I haven't posted in such a long time! Mail goodies/freebies haven't been too bad, but I've been slacking with taking pics and posting them. :(  I've been dealing with some of my own issues (which I really am not ready to throw out there just yet) that I have been getting help for, but it's really been harder to "get a grip" on  than I thought it would be. I mean, I didn't expect things to get fixed and all better overnight but I also didn't expect to slip further down like I have. As I said, it's not something I really want to open up about right now. Hopefully, in the future it will all be something I can look back on and open up about easily.

Anyhoo, things around here seem to be going "ok". Just counting down the months until we can get moved.......hopefully only 5 more months to go!! The boys are SO excited about Halloween this week.....I actually got Chase into his costume and he didn't cry!! I don't know what his deal is about clothes....not only did he have a meltdown when he initially tried on his costume, he has meltdowns when it comes to certain clothes in general!! Especially long sleeve shirts right now! I've been trying to gear him up for the cooler weather coming, but all he says is "I can wear my jacket, I'll be fine..." I've told him it will be WAY too cool to wear a tshirt, even with his jacket, and that he will have to wear warmer shirts in the house with no jacket and he keeps saying "I'll be fine, mommy...." So far today I've gotten him to wear a long sleeve thermal shirt....albeit he has the sleeves pushed up right now, he is wearing it and not crying! LOL He looks so cute in his costume, though. He is going to be a pirate!

He didn't have his hook in the pic, and I seriously doubt he will wear the eye patch on Halloween, but he is just too cute!!Ty had a few ideas of what he wanted to be, I normally I try my best to make their costumes......but when I went onto Party City's website Ty saw a costume that he just LOVED!! And, it was on sale!!! He is going to be Walugi, from MarioKart!

I think he loves amazing!!! He doesn't have the mustache on in this pic, but we are waiting to put that on after we eat dinner Halloween night. That is another thing the boys are excited about....eating dinner at the mall!! Because of the area we live in, we take the boys to the mall for trick-or-treating and it's so nice! Even if the weather is bad or super cold, the mall is the perfect place to go. It's just so hard to believe Halloween is this week......this year has flown by SO fast!

Gone are the days

....where I could give Chase mix-matched socks to wear. This morning we had a wonderful conversation about socks and how they have to match. Doesn't this child know how hard it is to keep up with socks?!? And his are still so small, they are even easier to lose than regular socks! Plus, no one would see them to notice they didn't match, so why worry about it?!?!? Needless to say, after lots of digging and hunting I finally found a pair that matched....and then I get this:

Me: "Here you go babe, socks that match...."
Chase: "I not BABE, I CHASE!"

Such a lovely start to the week

Well, last night was rough but this morning takes the cake. Ty got off to school just fine (thank goodness!) and Z was getting ready for work. He was getting his stuff together and I asked him if he had his medicine and he answered me really shitty/snarky, so that sort of see the tempo of the morning. He left and I was getting things picked up in the living room when my phone rang. It was Z.........apparently our lovely neighbors (or people from a few houses over.....there are more than one druggie houses on this road with asshats living there) thought it would be fun to take two rocks to our car. They bashed the one corner of the windshield, causing the glass to break and spread to the middle of the window. They also put two HUGE, deep gashes/dents into the hood and the side and also bent the radio antenna. Oh, and the best part?! We don't have glass coverage on our insurance for the car....because of the age we didn't get it, and honestly didn't think we would need it. Here are some pics....

Here is the dent they put in the hood....

And the side, near the rear door handle....

Z did call to make a report, but apparently they now only do vandalism reports over the phone?!? How the hell can they see the damage done if no one comes out?!? I have a feeling once they saw the road we lived on they decided it just wasn't worth coming out to look at. Gotta love that we don't feel safe, even when we are talking about our own sheriff's department.

So basically, we are doing everything in our power to get moved out of this house ASAP, and not wait until tax time. We are beyond broke, but we just can not stay here any longer. It's only going to get worse.

Surprised

Z surprised me the other night with something beautiful......

It's going on 3 years since I lost my mom. It's so hard to believe it's been that long.....and yet some days it feels like it was only yesterday.This frame is just so beautiful......and I love the picture I used, but I wish I had more of her!

Monday is here

Whew, this weekend FLEW by!! We had such an amazing weekend, though. When Z got home from work on Saturday we were going to head to Walmart to get the rest of Ty's things for school. Well, while we were getting ready he pulled me aside and asked if I wanted to do something fun with the boys, since they haven't really done ANYTHING this summer....heck, they hardly played outside at all. :( I told him it sounded great, especially with how things had been the past few days. So we went to Walmart first. This weekend was a tax free weekend, and I swear all the crazies came out!! We didn't go to our regular store, which made it so much more crazy. We found most of the items he needed there, but I couldn't get over how unorganized it all was. This year Ty needed those zipper pouches that go in a 3-ring binder (oh, and he needed a 1.5" binder...not 1", but 1.5"....we had to hunt all OVER for that size, and it ended up costing almost $7!!) and they had them with the school supplies, but they were almost $4!! I picked up 2, and asked where we could find the tab dividers. They said if we didn't see them to check in the Stationary section, so we just headed that way. We found them, as well as the 1.5" binder. We were leaving that isle when I saw more zipper pouches. They were about the size of the ones we had (maybe a little thinner, but still nice) and they were only .97!! Why the hell didn't they have THOSE down with the school supply mess?!?!? And forget about finding pencils. It was just insane. So we picked up some underwear and socks for him, and then a pair of jeans and left. We went to Target to see if they had some pencils and what all they had on sale, and their school supply section was slammed as well, but we did manage to find pencils! Thank you, Target!!

After we were done we headed towards our surprise. I was SO worried, as the sky looked nasty and they were calling for some strong storms. But we kept heading up the road and it seemed to clear a little which was nice. Our surprise was, Z took us to the Jefferson County Fair!! WOW, the boys were SO surprised and excited!!! I hadn't been to anything like that since I was a little older than Ty, so I was just as excited!!! It wasn't a whole lot to get in (thank goodness!) and we got there a little early but they were letting people in. (it opened at 5pm, but we got there a little after 4:30 and we got in) The boys were just so overwhelmed with it all....Ty kept saying "Ohh, I want to ride that ride!" and "And then i'll ride that one!" And all of the food they had....OMG, the smell was sooooo yummy!! The first thing they did was ride the Fun Slide. Ty could ride by himself, but daddy had to ride with Chase. (mommy had to take the pics, right?!?) Ugh, and speaking of pics. I remembered to bring my camera....and forgot the flippin memory card!!! Thank goodness I had charged my phone so I could get some pics! Ohhh, and for a phone it took some GREAT shots!!! Anyhoo, they all loved the slide! They had alot of rides for Chase as well as rides for older kids, which was really nice. Chase got on one or two, and then he and daddy (and Ty and I) rode the Ferris Wheel. After that we got a small snack....I finally got my snowball!!!! We hit the potty's and then got on some more rides. Ty also got to ride a pony and then we went to the petting zoo. Later that evening they had a tractor pull and that was SO cool!!! It was really loud, but both boys seemed to really like it. We got another small snack and walked some more so Ty could get on a few more things. When we first got there there was hardly anyone there so the lines were short, but by the time we were ready to go it was SLAMMED and the lines were majorly long. After 3 hours we were ready to go, though. When we left we all kept talking about how much fun it all was and thanking Z for taking us there! I did get lots of pics, and even a video of the tractor pull, but they are all on Facebook. (won't post them here, especially after all the drama that went on)

We stopped and ate dinner then came home. I put Chase to bed not too long after we got home and he passed out right away!! It was just so nice to get out as a family and do something like that. Especially now that Ty goes back to school next week.

Thank you again Z for an amazing time!!!!

Interesting

Just some random things that have been said this week.........

- "Keep your penis in your underwear, please!"
- "Yes, your butt is clean so pull up your underwear"
- "Why did you put that cookie/cracker/pencil/paper in the air vent?"
- "Why are your legs in your sleeves?"
- "Please leave the cat alone.....she is not one of your toys.."
- "Chase, where are you?" Chase: "In the closet, mommy! We having an adventure!"
- "Mommy, I need some paper toilet to wipe my butt..." Me: "Umm, you mean toilet paper?" Chase: "yeah, that!"

My dino lover

Ty is a HUGE dino freak! He loves any and everything about them and has several books he loves to read about dinos. Today we went to the mall and saw this shirt at Sears......perfect! (and a HUGE thank you to Sears for having it on sale!)

Middle of the week, woohoo!!

So hard to believe it's already Wednesday! It's going to be super hot here again today......ugh, this summer is going to be brutal!! Anyhoo, Ty had his follow-up appointment with the Pediatric GI specialist yesterday. She said other than the excess bile he had, everything came back just fine, and the medicine he is on should take care of the bile issue. So when he's done with the pills he is taking he won't have to take anymore! We were ALL so relieved! He hasn't had any tummy issues in quite awhile now (well, the other night he did but I think it was from him playing outside in the heat) so i'm hoping it will continue to stay away.

So the past few days i've been working on some things for Chase's birthday next month. How in the world is he turning 3?!?!? I had looked into doing a Blue's Clues "party" for him (it will just be us here for his birthday but I still wanted to do a theme...LOL) but trying to find things that didn't cost a small fortune is impossible!! Even Party City had limited things for Blue's Clues. So I decided to go with Yo Gabba Gabba. I'm still tweaking the birthday invites but I did order some things from Amazon yesterday to go with the theme. (THANK YOU survey money!!) I'd still like to get a few more things to go with what I ordered, and then we need to figure out what to get him!

Well, I need to finish getting things together and take Ty to school.....hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday!!!

Finally Friday!!!

Ahhh, i'm so glad the weekend is almost here! (not like we have any plans or anything....just looking forward to two days of sleeping in! LOL) I figured this would be a good time to do a few updates. This week actually went by kind of fast....Ty had testing each day this week, which he has said he feels he did good on. Last week was their last week for homework....I can not believe how fast this school year has gone by!!! He only has 17.5 days left. (last day is a half day)  This weekend I would LOVE to get some good deep cleaning done around here....it is way overdue!!!  I need to stay away from the computer and I should do good with getting things done! LOL  I've been kicking around some ideas for Chase's birthday in June (yes, I am early...LOL) and i'm thinking about doing either a Blues Clues or Yo Gabba Gabba theme. I found some ideas online for invitations and things and have been playing around with Photoshop....I absolutely LOVE Photoshop!!! But I need to not mess with that this weekend so I can get some things done......I guess we'll see how that goes.....

Ugh, my allergies/sinuses have been kicking my butt lately!!!The pollen has been rough the past few weeks, and my allergies hardly ever both me so I know it must be bad! (although I have had a few bad sinus infections over the past two years....very rare for me!) I am SO grateful for the Walmart brand Daytime Sinus gel caps....they are THE only medicine I can take that doesn't make me drowsy at all, and actually works for me!! They were a true lifesaver when I had a bad sinus infection a few years ago. And they are not expensive!

Ok, so earlier this month I had the Mirena IUD put in and I have to say I am in love!! Aunt Flo was due a few days ago and she is a no show....and I KNOW i'm not pregnant and we are done having kiddos so AF can stay away for good for all I care!!! The IUD was so easy to have put in and other than a few cramps here and there i've had no problems at all. I know the IUD isn't for everyone but it was perfect for us right now.

Chase is doing amazing!!!! He is talking up a storm and has an amazing sense of humor! He LOVES watching (and singing) Blue's Clues and Yo Gabba Gabba. He will randomly sing songs from both shows throughout the day, and it is hilarious! He also loves to color and draw, and has gotten SO good with his letters and numbers and recognizing shapes and colors. He's also really into playing outside, and despite living where we do and the issues we have (in fact, someone tried to break in last Saturday night....nice, huh?!?) I try and let him play outside as much as possible. Ty has always loved being outside and I love that, and now Chase is the same. He still isn't potty trained, but we're going to work hard on it this summer....well, as long as he is ready. Ty potty trained fairly easy, but alot sooner than Chase. But I know when Chase is ready he will get the hang of it and do well. :)  He is just awesome......well, both of my boys are!!

Z and I are doing better. I feel we still have a way to go, but things seem to be looking up. I think something clicked for Z this last time and he really seems determined and focused on doing what needs to be done to get us in a better place, and not just a better home but a better place in general. Seeing the change in him has really inspired me to be more patient about where we live and with our marriage in general. I am FAR from a better person, and I know I have alot of things to still work on. I really need to be less negative and stop whining/complaing about things, as it WILL get better when the time is right and I need to focus on the GOOD alot more. I bet once I change my way of thinking my whole mood and depression issues will improve so much.

Ok, I *think* I covered everything......this post sure was long enough!! LOL Hope everyone has a wonderful and safe weekend!!!

Just....blah

So it looks like we WILL be stuck in this hell hole house/neighborhood for another year. Apparently we don't even have the money left to rent another home, which blows since I was basically promised we would still get out of here. It has gotten to the point where I can not even look at homes while we are driving without getting teary eyed....hell, I even get teary eyed just watching tv and seeing people in "homes". Sounds so stupid, I know. I hate being like this and the funk that I am in and i've been trying to at least not let it get to me, but it's so darn hard when you look around you and see all the crap you still have to deal with and are still scared to be in this house.

We did get the boys out of the house yesterday and took them to a park....it was SO nice to get out! Especially since the boys can't really play outside here due to the neighbors, and now the coyote we saw walking down the street RIGHT in front of the house just the other day. But anyhoo, the boys had such a great time!! And it was so nice seeing them running and playing and just enjoying being outside.

I added more pics on my Facebook page......the park was small, but so nice!! Hopefully when Ty is off next week for Spring Break we'll be able to go back there.......

Ok, i'm going to try and do my best to not be so scarce and to not let this funk I am in get the best of me.........

Rollercoaster

That's the best way I can describe the past few months. I don't know if i've mentioned in previous posts, but we have been trying like hell to get out of this house and away from this neighborhood. When we found out how we were going to do as far as income taxes go, we started looking and "thought" we had someone lined up to help us. BIG mistake!! She is a realtor that Z had met through his work. (he worked on her car) Needless to say she proved to be just like everyone else who has said they would help or work with us on anything.....she never kept in touch when she said she would and acted like we were just a huge bother to her. I understand things come up and you get busy, but don't say your going to help or keep in touch if you are not going to do it!! Just tell us up front so we don't waste ANYONES time. And the sad thing is, she isn't the only one. I checked on craigslist every single day, at least 20 times a day actually, trying to find something we could afford and was in a good neighborhood. We had several people we contacted tell us "Oh we can most definitely get you into something, and we will gladly work with you!!" Once again, promises were made about calling us back and following through with us, and nothing ever happened. We did finally get in touch with someone who actually did keep his word and in fact did call when he said (and even when we weren't expecting him to call! He would call just to let us know he hadn't found anything and was still looking......I was shocked!!) We were going to look into a home that would have been perfect for us, but then Z's surgery date got moved up due to complications (the surgery went well, by the way. He is doing good and should be home soon)....and then we found out the short term disability that he had signed up for through work wasn't going to help us because he hasn't been at his work for a year yet. So now what money we have to move will have to be used to keep us going until Z gets back to work. Z did say we could still move but would have to find something to rent instead of own, and I am totally fine with that. As long as we are out of this hell hole I don't care if we have to rent forever!!!! But now something is telling me we won't be moving until next income tax time, and I refuse to live in this house for that long. Call me selfish or whatever, but waiting is just not an option. I can not keep these boys in this house or in this neighborhood.....

And as far as the neighbors go, they have now taken the magnets off the car Z drives and broke them in pieces and left them in the driveway. This just happened last night. Also, right next to the a/c unit outside it looks like someone has been messing with stuff and the back door also looks like someone has been messing with it. I've asked Ty if he messed with either thing and he said no. And with Z in the hospital still and the boys and I home alone, I can not take living in fear any longer. Plus i've started having some nasty dreams, mainly about the people next door.......for my own sanity and safety, AND the safety of my boys, we have GOT to get out here. Waiting any longer is just not an option...........

Whew, ok I think i've rambled long enough.......i'm sure i'll contiue to be scarce for a little bit, and if anyone can spare any good thoughts/prayers for us they are GREATLY appreciated!!

I apologize

I know my posts have been sporadic the past month or so and i'm so sorry. Things have been so freakin stressful around here. We found out that Z has to have surgery on March 2nd to remove the second tumor he has......well, now that tumor is bleeding so the surgery has been moved up to February 24th. And with no help here in TN, the boys and I won't be at the hospital when he is there.   Then add to the mix we have been trying to find another home and that proved to be extremely frustrating!!! And to top it off, the buttheads next door are only getting worse. Last month one of them knocked on our door and then proceeded to turn the door knob to try and open the door. They are always peeling wheels out front and speeding up and down the road....and we have called the sheriff about it and all they say is "Well we'll send someone out to look into it..." and nothing happens. Most recently they have taken magnets (and a sticker) off of our van and broken them into pieces and left them in the driveway. Two magnets were about cancer; one was an ovaian cancer ribbon magnet and they other was a cancer survivor ribbon magnet. They also destroyed my Feel Your Boobies magnet and actually took the time to peel off a Feel Your Boobies (for breast cancer awareness) sticker. So yeah, we are doing all we can to get out of here.

Hopefully once we get moved and settled and Z gets his surgery out of the way i'll be able to post more frequently.

Christmas has come and gone

Each year I am shocked at how fast the holiday goes by. This Christmas seemed to go by even faster since I took the decorations down the day after! I usually leave them up until at least New Year, but we really needed the room. I still keep finding decorations here and there, but I think I got it all up now. I foudn a few Christmas cards that we got this year, and I must say I don't think we will be sending out cards next year. And if we do, it will only be a small few. I am truly amazed at the lack of cards we got this year. I know it's really not a big deal, but it always meant so much when we got cards from family and friends......it really showed they were thinking of us. We got a total of 6 cards this year. So yeah, i'm not really thinking about doing cards anymore. (and I hate being that way, as I LOVE doing Christmas cards )

As for Christmas, we had a GREAT day!!! The boys got so much and loved everything they got. Some things we had to put up until we move, since we just don't have the room for everything. I think Chase's favorite was the Fisher Price Stand and Play Rampway. Actually, we ALL love playing with it!! And some of the reviews were people complaining about the cars flying off the track....well, Chase cracks up everytime one of his cars goes flying!! I'm hoping to get him a few more cars to use with it, although he loves to use his Tonka Chuck & Friends as well as Hotwheel cars on it. Ty's favorite thing he got was his Spongebob Lego sets!! In fact, he is getting a third one for his birthday! But he plays with them every day. They both also love the Crayola paints they got from my sister and her family. All in all it was a great Christmas.

Well, Ty has been on Christmas break for 2 weeks now and he is BEYOND ready to go back to school!! I'm SO thankful we had decent weather since he loves to play outside. If he would have been stuck in the house for most of his break I think I would have lost my mind. I love him so much, but he needs to be around other people!! He goes back this Monday, thank you Lord. He's also excited about this coming week, since his birthday is a week from today!!! How is it he is going to be 8 years old?!? We're going to actually celebrate his birthday on Wednesday, since Z is off that day. Ty had asked Z if he could get home a little earlier on his birthday so they could have dinner together, but Z's work is moving to a new shop and he has to stay late that night. Z mentioned about celebrating on Wednesday and Ty said he would love that!! He's asked for chinese food for dinner and an ice cream cake for dessert.

Poor Chase has been having issues yet again with his ears.We had to take him to see the doctor on Wednesday because his right is was now bothering him. The doctor checked his left ear but couldn't see much since he had so much wax in it, but he said his right ear was really infected and it looked like the eardrum may have ruptured. They gave us some stronger antibiotics and he said he wanted to see him back in two weeks so he can make sure the fluid is going down. If not, Chase will need to see an ear specialist and may possibly need tubes in his ears. I mentioned to the doctor about Chase's speech and he said it could very well be because of his ears being infected and that he isn't hearing well enough to speak clearly. So, if it does come down to him needing tubes it won't be a bad thing, as it will not only help his ears but possibly his speech. I just feel so bad for my boy, though.

Well, Chase is now awake so it's time I get off of here. Hope everyone has a GREAT weekend!!!

Hard to believe....

Christmas is two weeks from yesterday!!! This week is Ty's last full week of school....next week he goes Monday and Tuesday and on Wednesday it is a half day. He's so excited about the break, but I can just hear him now on his first full day off..."Mom....i'm bored!"

This weekend was nice. On Friday, after I dropped Ty off at school I took Chase to see the doctor. (well, it was the nurse practitioner) He has an ear infection in his left ear, which we kind of figured as hey would be playing and out of the blue jump up and start crying and grabbing his left ear. :( So he is now on antibiotics. After the appointment we hit Target. The in-laws sent a check to get the boys something for Christmas. (SO much easier for them since they are in MD) I found a few small things in Targets $1 section and then headed to the toys. It was so cute....Chase saw a doll and kept saying "Mama, baby doll!! Baby doll!!" I kept walking and he wasn't happy about that. Now, I don't have any issues with my son having a baby doll, but I am NOT buying a doll that "poops"!! It's enough that i'm cleaning his butt, I don't need to clean up after some doll! We left the baby isle and something else caught his eye.....a super cute and SUPER squishy bear!! (Chase is SO into bears!!!) I picked it up and loved how soft it was....and it was a really great price!! I asked him if he would like to get this bear and he yelled "YAH!" He instantly laid his head down on it, and I knew it was perfect for him. I figured that would something nice from the in laws for him. :) I also found a Fisher Price Magnetic drawing board thingie (the one that has a "pen" attached to it and he can draw, then slide something to clear the board). This child LOVES to draw and goes through almost as much paper as Ty does so this is perfect!!! I looked at all kinds of things for Ty and nothing really stood out.....they had some Lego stuff on sale, but we already got him several Spongebob sets already. I finally looked at the board games and remembered he wanted the game Sorry, so I got him that from the in-laws. I didn't see anything else, but we ended up going back to Target yesterday and we found a REALLY cool pair of dino pj's for Ty!!! He loved them! So we picked them up, also from the in-laws, but I let him have them early. He put them on as soon as we got home and kept them on all day! LOL

Friday night Z got our layaway out and Saturday I got everything wrapped. :) Now I can't wait for Christmas!! Also on Friday we got a few goodie baskets mailed out (and they should get them either today or tomorrow!) and I still have a few to make up. Hopefully we'll get them done sometime this week. Z is off tomorrow (he has a biopsy scheduled for tomorrow morning, though) and on Thursday and i'm hoping Thursday we'll get a few more goodies made up and mailed.

Well, unfortunately I have dishes calling my name so I need to get offline. Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and has a GREAT week!!!

Friday! :)

And it's Black Friday at that! We didn't dare try to get in on any of the Black Friday stuff. We did hit Walmart last night, but it was to just get some things we needed. We got there around 6:45 and there were actually people camped out in some of the aisles, waiting for the 10pm deals!! I just shook my head. They had all of the 10pm sales wrapped up in plastic, and employees actually had to stay near them all the time to stop people from taking things before the sale started. Crazy!! I'm actually glad we got there when we did, because there were only a few "regular" shoppers in the store. When we left, which was almost an hour or so later, there were even MORE people camped out in certain areas of the store!! Just too funny......I did get online this morning and found a pair of Mickey Mouse footie pj's on Walmart online that I ordered. Shipping was cheap and it was worth paying to avoid going to the store today! LOL

SO I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Ours was just wonderful! I was worried it wasn't going to be all that good, as Z and I had gotten into a pretty bad disagreement the day before and things were still tense yesterday morning. But things seemed to work themselves out for the most part. Everyone was up early, unfortunately. LOL Chase hasn't been feeling 100% the past few days and has been getting up early. After everyone got up I went on a hunt to find a box of Christmas lights I knew we had (we put our tree up on Wednesday since Ty was off and every set of lights we had for the tree didn't work! I was so upset...:() and I finally found them!!! We usually do colored lights on the tree, but the box I found was all white lights. I didn't care as I was just happy to have lights!!! (although after Christmas this year I am buying new lights for next year! LOL) Z and I got the lights on the tree, then Ty and I got the garland put on. After a small break, we got the ornaments on the tree! Z gave the boys their new ornaments, and they both loved them!! Chase took his school bus and immediately pulled out his toy garage and played with it! Ty put his right on the tree. :) Here is the end result:



Obviously the bottom is a little bare because of Chase...and MeeMee! LOL

After we got the tree up Z decided to call the bank to see if his check went in early. (one of the reasons we got into a disagreement the day before....he was hoping (well, actually counting on it) his check was going to go in on Wednesday and it didn't) Low and behold it was in there!!! We quickly got everyone ready and went out for the day. We ended up at Bass Pro Shop to see Santa!!! The boys did so good....and the Santa there is just AWESOME!!!! He is so sweet and takes his time with each child, and lets you get more than one free picture!! I posted the Santa pic on Facebook. I also got some amazing pics of the boys throughout the store that i'll add to Facebook shortly. (i'd rather not share on here due to a lurker) But after seeing Santa they got to ride on a carousel, which was new this year. Ty got to ride a bear and Chase rode a moose!! Both boys had SO much fun looking at all the fun things there....especially the HUGE fish they have! We got some popcorn and some fresh roasted almonds, cashews and pecans (roasted with cinnamon....YUM!!!) and I actually got a super cute hoodie for only $10!!!



After BPS, we hit a few other stores near Pigeon Forge and then came home to cook Thanksgiving dinner. It was SO good! We had such a great day.

Well, I am off to add some pics to Facebook from yesterday. Hope everyone has a wonderful Friday and weekend!!!!!